Hey there👋! hope you doing well?…. suicide notes don’t start like that, end like that neither…they start with: ” i don’t blame anyone for this…..i did this for protecting everything from suffering because of me”😣 Such moments are like being a hero for whatever is surrounding you but unfortunately this causes a lot of harm to everyone around you…..they realize what you went through when they can’t see you anymore.

What’s suicide? Suicide may be defined differently depending on whoever is defining it, let me take you through the version many people don’t wanna and Don’t talk about: suicide may be happening or happened in someone’s life…here I’m talking about someone who is alive but in the other way inside they’ve committed suicide or else they’re not living. Tricky, right?🤕

Well, at a certain point suicidal thoughts hit and you get fever🤒, running stomach and as a person who finds that life no longer has a meaning or life’s no longer that fun…do you know what you do next to yourself?….. Thinking that living has no purpose for you, every word you find it useless, you find it hard to enjoy what you used to enjoy and this turns to be your number one enemy😡….you build an army inside your body that is against everything meant for you.

I’m talking about you being your own enemy without anyone against you coz here you fight yourself for the sake of others, you don’t want to hurt nobody and in return the best thing is you would rather hurt yourself… everything become meaningless🥴and sometimes you feel like whatever you’re doing it’s like you’re on a remote control, just like a robot there’s no pain, no happiness… everything seem to be on the same line 😣.

This is the trickiest part coz no one can convince or motivate you coz you think you can do it all by yourself ….you give replies like “i know! This is my life and i know what to do with my life, so stay away and by the way I don’t think you’re going to help either ” coz your first thought is “everyone has no solution or help but they will only judge me for who I’m😣.”

But little you know that the more you lock yourself in that box “suicidal thoughts” it eats you up and nobody realizes coz when you’re with people you pretend that everything is OK but on the inside when you’re brOKen💔.

Your inner person screams😱 for help but you shut him/her up coz you were told that no one can help or no one can add anything into your life- look at how loud your inner person is shouting….. there’s more than locking yourself up in life ….the best excuse is “it’s very easy to talk about it” or ” a talk is cheap”.

Mental states may differ but the only tricky thing here is a trigger, someone may live there entire life with mental break down and no one realizes that on their face coz people with mental health issues are the happiest in the public…to reach at this point they only need a TRIGGER….. something that puts on fire everything and when it finds you somewhere alone without any possibility to get out of it😣….you find many reasons why suicide is the only way to rest however it’s not right!

You deserve to be heard, to be helped otherwise you or your friend might be writing their long note like this that you will cry on after reading coz they will not be there anymore… there are several things you can do when you feel low even if it may sound crazy or ridiculous but trust me it works.. it’s okay to do not figure it out at first just zoom in to see all those small efforts:

-Find purpose in life no matter how hard it’s remember that there’s a lot you can do☺️.

-Fight dark forces with good deeds or whatever small good impact you’ve had in your life💯…stay away from toxic relationships and it’s okay to feel like you’re crazy by the way 💯.

-Prayer🙏 works too, no matter how hard you’re on yourself God has never let you down as long as you still want to get back to Him…. blames, sins, and everything showing you that you can’t be forgiven can be erased in just a second…. submit to God and He will bless and heal you…God is not a criminal😡.

-Open up to people dear to you, i understand sometimes talking about everything sucks but trust the process the more you talk about it the more you release it no matter how scary it’s, just do it🥰or else imagine that dearest person you don’t wish to die or to commit suicide writing a note saying bye to, that will shift your views and consider your value 🤍.

-If you can afford therapy, it works too🧘.

-Go out of that house, room, bar, and do something you’re passionate about coz this can ignite your purpose🔥.

-Self talk is key 🗝️, tell yourself how far you’ve come and where you’re right…use people’s compliments as a weapon 🔫 and accept the facts that no matter how hard you’ve messed up or anything is going wrong there’s always a way🤍!

-Ask for help, don’t fear of asking help if you think of someone who can help out💌.

Trust the process, time is the best healer coz everything shall come to pass there’s nothing can’t pass and remember you can fail but never let that eats you up and never stop trying⛽…..if you feel like crying, yeah! Cry or if you thinking don’t stop anything you have no control over.

Through the version that people give, suicide is something else from what people go through before commiting it……let’s spread love not hate coz the next victim might be you or your relatives.

Below I brought to you psychologists you can reach out to Incase you need help in BURUNDI🇧🇮:

-Ory Kanayoge Ntore : +257 62 43 79 42

-Princia IRACANYE : +257 61 86 04 19

You deserve the best not a suicide rest!

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